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In The Beginning

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you, man?" Adam said, "I have no one to talk to. "God said, "I am going to give you a companion; it will be a woman." God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes; she will always agree with every decision you make.

She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to takecare of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." to which Adam replied, "What can I get for just a rib?" And the rest is history.

Sunbathing

Joan, a rather well-proportioned though near-sighted secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first few days, but always removed her glasses for an even facial tan.

After several days she decided that no one could see her way up there, so she slipped out of her suit for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her bottom.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The hotel doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you have for the past week."

"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight!"